Remembering a Friend

17 years ago I lost one of my best friends to a car accident. Amy Stephens was an identical twin. Her sister Kelly was her best friend and now remains mine. I grieve for Kelly every September 25th, knowing that her heart breaks and her heart is full every year.

Losing a friend at 19 was tragic. I literally thought I got the wind knocked out of me and my brain instantly ached from un-shed tears. Loving someone is hard. You never know when the end will be and once Amy died, it felt like death just kept coming. My Grandpa, My Mom, My Dad, My Grandma, and My Brother.... all died with in the next 15 years of my life.

At 36 years old, I feel like I have been robbed. I've been robbed of the love I want and the love I deserve. For everyone, grief is different. I cried at a bar yesterday as Willie Nelson sang a ballad I remembered from my car trips with my mom. Last week I found myself crying on the toilet and started laughing at the great spot, because tissue was so handy here. Sadness follows me everyday at the loss of so many loved ones.

So today I take a minute to write this to remind the world of this beautiful girl, who was tragically gone too soon. I love you, Amy.